Time is on my side.

"I don't have time."

How often do we say these words? And how often are they untrue?
I have used this excuse a million times... and most times thought I was telling the truth.
Lately I've realized something very important: not having the time, and not taking the time, are two VERY different things. So why am I so scared to admit what is and is not important to me?

As a mom I've found I can NEVER have enough time. My days fly by, and there is always something left undone. My to-do list never ends, my chores are never fully caught up, my house is never quite as clean as I'd like it, the meals I make seem to rarely go as planned, my friends never get the time I'd like to give them, my children never get as much attention as I'd like them to have, and my husband hardly ever gets the attention he deserves. And yet I have come to this conclusion: Time, is all that I have.

What is life except time?
It's all any of us have.
Time is always on our side.
We wake up and go to sleep using time along the way.

It is all of our right to decide how we spend our time, whom we give it to, and how efficiently we use it.
It is our choice what things, people, and situations we wish to take the time for, and it is a vital part of our lives to choose wisely.
We can claim we don't have time, yet the true statement would be: "I am not going to give my time to ___."
Why do we feel guilty admitting that some things are not priorities to us?  That some people, or situations are not deemed by us worth spending our energy or time on at any given moment? There is no crime in saying, "no".

Most of us would like to have time to do a great number of things we choose not to, and the truth is that is simply because there are other things more important to us. What's wrong with that? Nothing that I can see. Some days, leaving my house a mess to play with my children is more important to me than cleaning. Some times, being with a dear friend is more important to me than taking a phone call, text message, or visit from one whom I barely know. And sometimes, having a clean house, dinner made, and being showered and dressed is important enough to me to put aside all else and make it happen.
That's life. That's MY life.

My goal is to live an honest life. Honest with my husband, children, friends, and most importantly myself.
It's not that I don't have time to go to church on Sunday morning, it's simply that the time I get with my family is more important to me right now than sorting through the bs I have found in that situation, or having fellowship with those I currently don't know or care much about at this point in my life.
It's not that I don't have the time to go get a job and bring in more money, it's that spending that time with my children and being the biggest influence in their lives means more to me than having the extra money that might create less stress for a moment in our lives, for now.
I would rather... it's always, I would rather, not a lack of time, that drives me to the choices I make.
Sometimes I feel regret for things I've done, not because I would change my life, or who I am, but because of who I am I see ways I could have spent my time more wisely, and gained greater reward for myself in the long run. And yet, I won't take the time most days to even bother with the regret. :D

It's a wonderful feeling. It's freeing really... to be able to say honestly: I will not give you my time. Or: I will not give that my time.

It's not worth the time of day... is a very true statement.

So perhaps I share all of this because I hope to hear honesty back from those I love, and I may not always like it or want to hear it, and I will respect you as much as I respect myself for my admittance of the same. When the time comes, please don't tell me you don't have time, or don't have enough time... acknowledge that time is ALL we have. And be real. It's just not worth YOUR time, sometimes. And that, is ok by me.

There is one other side to this I must touch on... there is a price and a payoff in everything that we give our time to. Sleep is important to me, the price I pay for spending time sleeping is that I don't get to catch up on things I didn't take time for earlier, like unfinished projects, or housework... the payoff? I'm a better Mom& wife when I have slept at night.
The price I pay for a late night out with friends or family is lack of sleep, and having to half-ass my duties sometimes around my house. The payoff? Those much needed breaks from my routine to laugh, play& talk with those around me help me grow, and poor energy into me in other ways than sleep ever could.
See?
Price& payoff are always involved. And it is always my choice.
So I must learn to evaluate... and choose wisely. Never taking time for friends could cost me friends when I truly need them to give their time back to me, so is what might keep me from them really worth the payoff I will get? Never taking time for myself could cost me running dry and not having anything left to give others... so is it worth it this time?
Sometimes the price will outweigh the payoff, next time it might not. Life is always changing. And how I spend my time will help determine how much of mine is joy, sorrow, pleasure or pain.

So how are you spending your time today?
I am going to spend some time with my children now. :)

xoxo